by Rev. Dr John Evans
Today we come to worship God with heavy hearts, and profound sense of unreality. We planned for a birthday, a joyful occasion; and instead we now grieve the passing of a dear friend.
As you can imagine, today is very different from how we originally planned this service. However, in coming to reframe this time we worship God together, I asked myself the simple question, What would Doug want? Or perhaps another way of saying exactly the same thing, What would be the right thing to do?
You see, life goes on; we have gathered for worship, yes the context is very different, but the question is the same – what is the Word of God for us; who is Jesus for us now; how does God address us today?
So what can we say? As we said, today is not Doug’s funeral service – that will happen later this week. At that time we will have ample opportunity to say much about Doug’s full life and our hope in Christ. Rather today, I feel we are sad; indeed we just a little numb. We perhaps are just not able to comprehend how life will be without him – especially considering his contribution to the life of this congregation and so many other areas. He has been such a wise and revered leader, a man of action, a man of compassion, a man of insight, a man with a wry smile – a great friend and counsellor. In so many places and in so many ways he will be missed. Today we are experiencing that very human emotion of grief and loss.
Initially I had wanted to preach using Psalm 31, the psalm set for today. And I am going to continue to do that – but we will need to change gear slightly in how we might highlight the features of this psalm. The psalm itself, as we will see, addresses the obvious intensity and poignancy we had faced in wanting to celebrate a birthday, and yet at the same time knowing that Doug faced death. And as I reflect that psalm is still relevant. . . though there is significant change. The change is that now longer is it Doug who was like the psalmist, seeking to be rescued, to have God’s peace – it is ourselves.
On the one hand there is much to celebrate and give thanks to God for: Doug’s life was an extremely full life – a life lived to the full. However, on the other hand we all need to acknowledge our feelings about today. There is a glumness – perhaps not unlike the disciples in that upper room sharing that meal we heard read in our gospel reading. The disciples’ hearts were troubled. What would life be like without Jesus, their dear friend, around. What will it be like without Doug around – after all he has always been around.
Put simply, today, like it was going to be anyway, the good and the wonderful is entwined with the sad and painful.
Of course, in large measure, that is life. It is life for all of us; and because of Doug, it is sharply focused. For some, it can be joy which predominates – life goes well; and then through illness, or relationship breakdown or just plain misfortune, life all can go haywire. For others of us – it is the sadness and struggle which predominates our life. Life is hard, and there are only snatches of joy along life’s journey. Death indeed may come as a blessed release.
How do we balance life; how can it all be held together. Perhaps more profoundly, can we make sense of it?
I believe Psalm 31 does help.
Joy and despair; hope and frustration are mingled in these few short verses. To begin with, this psalm is a cry for help, an expression of frustration, a lament that life has got to the lowest possible ebb.
So it begins:
In you, O Lord, I have taken refuge:
let me never to be put to shame;
in your righteousness, deliver me.
The psalmist is in great difficulty. It is not quite clear what it is that is troubling the psalmist. It could be that people are plotting against him.
Verse 13 says:
For I have heard the whispering of the crowd;
fear is on every side!
They scheme together against me,
and plot to take my life.
A verse I think of the poor embattled federal leader of the opposition might be uttering at this very moment. Sadly it can also be own our story in our places of work, or in our clubs and societies, or even in families and the church. However, I think the more poignant plea of the psalmist concerns his own health and wellbeing.
Verse 9 says,
Have mercy on me, Lord, for I am in trouble;
My eye is consumed with sorrow, my soul and body also
For my life is wasted with grief,
And my years with sighing,
My strength fails me because of my affliction,
And my bones are consumed.
Indeed the lot of the psalmist is very sad – he or she is afraid to go out any more, they just look such a wreck, and that will horrify other people. The psalmist from their abject despair cries out for help, cries out not to be alone, cries out to be rescued. If nothing else, the psalmist tells it how it is – does not mince words; even with God. The psalmist expresses their despair, frustration, even anger - it has come to this.
And this is why I can appreciate the psalms – they do tell you how it is, how we really feel. And that can only be a good thing.
However, the key here is that in the midst of the psalmist’s despair, they recall their own good life, and the presence of God in times past. In the midst of our sadness today we are encouraged to think of the good times – particularly those we have shared with Doug.
So the psalmist can say, verse 3:
Be my strong rock, a fortress to save me,
for you are my rock and my stronghold;
Guide me and lead me for your name’s sake.
Then, verse 7:
I will be glad and rejoice in your mercy,
for you have seen my affliction;
and have known my soul in adversity.
God has seen the psalmist before and helped, so in verse 22:
I had said in my alarm
“I have been cut off from the sight of your eyes”
Nevertheless you heard the voice of my prayer
When I cried out to you.
In other words, this time, in their despair the psalmist is again confident God will hear. God will listen and act, God will comfort and sustain – because God has always been there – in the good times, and even ones of despair.
The psalmist in fact can give thanks to God with these wondrously evocative words in verse 21:
Blessed be the Lord,
For God has wondrously shown his steadfast love
When I was as a city under siege.
So to recap –
In our trouble and distress, in our present sadness; perhaps even our regrets about the things we should have said to Doug, or meant to d for him and did not, we can frankly, honestly almost brutally bring such feelings before God, because in the past we have seen God’s faithfulness; we have experienced God’s presence in our lives, and in those former times God has sustained us. God through our life, as we look back - has been our rock, our fortress, our guide, our refuge - to just quote some of the images the psalmist uses.
So today, in thinking about Doug and about our own sadness and sense of grief and loss - we are confident in bringing our concerns before God, because we have seen God’s steadfast love so wonderfully evident in times past. God was good then; why would not God be good now. We can be assured that in this time of need, God will hear; God will be present; God will not forsake us. And yes, God was has been faithful with Doug in the past, why not now. Indeed we have seen, we have been a part of, we have experienced, so much of God’s “abundant goodness” (to again quote the psalmist) through Doug’s life, his marriage to Ethel, in his service to the Church here in Carlton, for his work here in Victoria, back in NSW and in Fiji and the Pacific. And so because we have seen this in the past – why would we not expect God to continue to be gracious and show steadfast love?
However, this all perhaps begs the question – how can we be confident of Gods’ love in the first place; how can we be confident of this relationship with God. Why can we say that the future ultimately holds no fears?
The psalmist simply says, in a very significant and powerful verse of scripture; verse 5
Into your hands I commend my spirit;
For you have redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.
These were the very words Luke records Christ saying on the cross; they are the words of the martyr Stephen – a story from Acts also set for today. They are the words of all who seek to live a life of faith and service.
These are the words of commitment, of entrusting our lives and futures to God. To belong to God in living and in dying means we derive our identity not from worthless idols of our culture (wealth, status, beauty) – like the psalmist refers to in verse 6 - but from the character of God to whom we entrust ourselves.
Jesus, in addressing his deeply anxious and troubled disciples, simply says that belief in him as “the way, the truth and the life” will mean you have this life. This is the way to the fullness of life – now, and in the future. Great heroes of the Christian faith have uttered this verse: psalm 31:5 on their deathbed. Jerome, Martin Luther, John Calvin and John Knox all died with these words on their lips. They are not however, just words about how we are to die – they are words about how we are to live. Doug has uttered those words in his life – something we all could say we have seen.
And on this day – just two days after his death, I sure Doug would want to ask, are we able to also say them in our life.
Into your hands I commend my spirit;
For you have redeemed me, O Lord God of truth.
They are the basis of the assurance that as we gather here today, we can have confidence in the future and that Doug is at peace. Well done, good and faithful servant.
